How Much Say Should The Wedding Party Have Over The Date?

I am planning an April wedding. My maid of honor listed three dates that month, two of which were Sundays (the day of the week we planned to marry) that she requested I not choose as the date. Those dates are her little young relatives birthdays. She doesn't want to miss their birthdays by being in my wedding. I told her that I would do what I could, but there's a good chance the wedding might fall on one of the dates she didn't want me to use. My feeling is that I will only get married once, where as her relatives will have birthdays every year, and therefore she shouldn't get all bent out of shape if she has to miss a party. The only problem is that a few other members of her family are invited, and I'm afraid that they may feel obligated to choose the child's party over attendance. How much say should the wedding party really have? I can justify some objections they might have, but its OUR big day, and we have to do it when it works for us, the venue, the caterers, etc.How Much Say Should The Wedding Party Have Over The Date?
Well, birthdays come once a year, but one's fifth birthday is only once.



I'm inclined to disagree with the other answers.



Keeping the obligations and needs of one's guests is important.



It isn't "your" day, though it is your wedding day.



You're putting caterers' wants ahead of those of people you actually care about. That sounds backwards to me.



It sounds like her family makes a big deal of birthdays.



If you were about to turn, say, seven, and your family makes a big deal of birthdays, that would be devastating to lose out on your special day. I can understand why they wouldn't want to do that to their own little ones.



It's not until next April. I bet you could accomodate someone you care enough about to ask to be your maid of honor.



The day isn't just yours. It's a day when you and your hubby-to-be are creating a new family, in the presence of your loved ones.



You need to consider the well-being of those loved ones, as well as your own wants.



It's not so much about her having a say, as about your wanting her there and not wanting to put her in a terrible spot of choosing between you and her family.
None. They are not the ones getting married.How Much Say Should The Wedding Party Have Over The Date?
They should have ZERO say on the date.

You have to pick what works for you, your fiance, and maybe your parents.



If your Maid of Honour won't drop everything to be at your wedding whenever %26amp; wherever it is, you need to pick a different Maid of Honour.
100%

those birthdays come every year YOUR WEDDING IS ONCE..

she can see them the night before...
The wedding party has no say in choosing a date. They have the option of being in the wedding party and that is it. This is your day, not hers.
If your maid of honor was indeed your FRIEND, she would KNOW that this is an important day of your life, and would plan around the children's birthdays.

I would choose what date I wanted, and if she could not oblige, say, " I am so sorry that you have other plans, but this is the date I have chosen and if you can not attend I will completely understand your decision." - and LEAVE it at that.
No say at all. If she can't make it, she's probably not as good a friend as your maid of honor should be.
Pick the date that works best for you. Keep in mind that you have to find a caterer, place, photographer, florist, etc. You have to do what is best for the event. If this is a real friend, she should not be directing you on what day is best for her. This is your day and when all is said and done I am sure she will come through for you on whichever date you pick.
In theory, they should have no say. It is your day, and if they are forced to choose between two events, so be it.



She will have the wedding date plenty in advance, and there should be no problem celebrating the young kids' birthdays on Friday evenings or Saturdays instead of Sunday.



That being said, I hope you are prepared to share the spotlight (and guest list) with a 5 year-old.



In the end, I guess if your Maid of Honor was a true friend, she wouldn't mind missing a b-day party for your big day.
talk to the other family members and see what they are going to do if in fact the day falls on the day of another get to gether. perhaps they can plan the other birthdays another time. like you said is is your day so you should be able to say when you would like it. the children will have many birthdays to come and i have never heard of a child getting upset because they celibrated their birthday early. but if in doubt talk to the guests though it shouldnt be a vote over what day everyone wants the wedding its YOUR day
If she is really your good friend, she should put your wedding date over the kid's birthday! As you rightly put it, your wedding is once in your lifetime and the kid's b'day is everyyear. If she won't budge on it, find another maid-of-honor who has your interest at heart more.
I can't believe that she would have the nerve to try to dictate when you can get married! If she was in another wedding, or graduating, etc..Maybe she could ask, but not for a birthday. Unless her grandma was turning 100! Get married when YOU want to. If it is important to her, she will be there. But be prepared, she may not come!
The wedding couple picks the date. If you have asked someone to be your maid of honor or attendant, and they can not do so on the date specified, they should tell you that it would not work out for them and you are than free to pick another person to take their place.
It is only up to you and your fiancee. However, if there was already a family event planned, you should not try to trump that with a wedding! This can cause family issues when people feel obligated to both and do not know what to do. Shoot for 2 weeks later or something.